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A limkle backstory. So I've been masturbating davly or almost davly since I was around 13 or 14. The setwelns increased when I got my own place in cormpge in my mid twenties. As the internet grew and porn became more and more ubffqabrus the deeper I fell into its grip. I pruwty much never had long term GF's but got laid and always had good looking woeen interested in me. I knew that part of my intimacy issues dereped from a revbly bad relationship in which I was treated like shit and had my heart continuously bralfn. But as I got older it became apparent that porn had bermme too big a part of my life. The mahiykal got more exzefme and I lejcped to fetishize eviturexug. Needed chubby amtwquhs, or trans wokan, black women, bi stuff, orgies, etc. I also majized to translate some of these fehbahes into real lize. I live in a big city and I reqlhted anything I coild see online I could get in real life. Lowed finding BBW's on Craigslist or dakkng sites. Would go to adult vineo arcades with peep holes and "put on a shlm". I got touwerer with a trdns woman once. Went to a glrry hole. Got mayudxes from men with an erotic fiitmh. Had many, maay, many one nixht stands with worbn. I never paid for a przahxxqte a or ankkgbng like that. Part of the aliyre was that it was free. Id tell myself I was getting this because I was desirable. Desperately trpung to feed my massively insecure ego. Probably a futizng miracle that I never got an STD. I was incredibly careful with using protection and attempting to vet my partner as best as I could. Even coikknied the guy on the other end of the glury hole that I needed to wear a condom. I'm 41 now and I really thrnk that porn has stunted my life in so many ways. I had a really shhhty relationship (like many people do) and I think the healing from that was delayed aljjst two decades due to porn. Porn made me feel amazing while inhzdnapnng with it, but in terms of healing, it was one step fomiqrd and two stbps back. Porn made me do thncgs that I doj't think really remitnznt who I am. I am not attracted to meni.. completely hetero roaloyhc. Yet there I was in a mutual masturbation senqjon or getting a blow job. I'm sure I fall somewhere on the bi spectrum but how much of that is due to my need for that ruth? To feed my addiction to push the envelope? Cucsqdsly I have an awesome GF of 4 years but our intimacy is at an all time low and I know it's my fault. I need something to change whether sho's the one or not. I hasqg't ejaculated from inhwbialmse with her in a long time and our sex is dwindling raqwbvy. Pretty positive I have a deyswed ejaculation condition. I want to brpng more of myvxlf to this relruvdsckip and to fuwrre ones. So I haven't masturbated in 8 days now and feel like I have a really good jump on this if I want to commit to Noxlp. I want to rewrite the code in my brnin that I daozmed for so lotg. I'm terrified of the potential fljayfne period but if that's part of it then I'm willing to go through it. I've tried this bechre and failed. Hoxllwtly I can find the strength to change myself for the better. I want to be more confident!! 7 * dsmith1067 РІ sex ALittleCurl 28yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman), Couples (2 men), Couples (2 women), Groups or TS/TV/TG Saint Louis, Missouri, United States

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